Re:(Elation?)ship Thoughts Part 2 - 05.29.00

One thing I've done several times in this section is write about little relationship anecdotes or conversations that have taken place (or not). It's something that I find fun and interesting, and looking back on the earlier pieces, I actually think that they're some of my favorite pieces that I've done (not only that, but it's fast reading). In keeping with the above theme, I present another batch of relationship thoughts, conversations, and situations.

"It was really strange and I can't quite explain it, but for some reason it just didn't feel like a real date."


"I'm not sure. I think it was because I just wasn't nervous enough."

We walked around from 10pm at night until 2am in the morning, then sat down on some steps in front of one of the buildings on campus. It was cool out and we'd both forgotten coats, so we just sat there and huddled together, not wanting to go home just yet. Over the course of the next 3 hours, nothing happened other than one light kiss on a neck, but our limbs were wrapped around each other and we shifted positions about 20 different times. When the sun started coming up, we finally stood up and walked back to our respective dorms. I had no idea that cold marble steps could be so comfortable.

"So, she sent you naked pictures of herself in the mail and you didn't let me see them?"

"First off, she wasn't naked in the pictures. She was wearing underwear and a bra. For seconds, I went ahead and threw all the pictures away a couple months after we broke up."

"Well, you could have at least thrown them somewhere I'd happen to find them."

I was sitting at the table explaining my theory about how the reason I never go out on dates is because my name starts with an "A" and apple stems never break off that early, therefore I never get asked out.

She looked at me, amused at first, then said, "You know, the reason you never go out on any dates might be because you never ask anyone out."

In my attempt at being witty, that logic must have somehow slipped my mind.

"I just had a conversation with my ex about who she was dating and I told her about a person that I was interested in. It was both weird and good at the same time.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, it was weird that it seemed like a totally natural conversation to be having, and it was good for the very same reason."

"I've been thinking a lot about situations in which you see someone just once and think that they're intriguing, but then you end up never seeing them again. What I'm thinking about doing is printing up little cards and carrying them around with me all the time. They'd be about the size of a business card and they'd say something like this:

'Hello, I know that this may seem strange, but you intrigue me. Something about the way you move or something that I simply can't describe in a few words made me feel compelled enough to give you this card. If you think I'm crazy, simply deposit it in the nearest garbage can, but if you're interested in chatting, please contact me sometime.'
"Then, at the bottom of the card, I'd put my e-mail address or something like that where they could contact me if they felt so compelled to. What do you think a girl would do if I walked up to them and handed them something like that?"

"They'd probably think you were totally fuckin' looney."