Setting Some Things Straight - 03.13.98

With this entry, I'm simply going to take a look back at the first 11 entries in my guestbook (sign it,view it). I'll answer some questions that were raised, as well as discuss certain comments that were made.

The first thing that becomes overwhelmingly obvious to me is how many times I am called a freak in the course of only 11 entries. In one response, I am simply called a freak, while in others I am called a freakaziod and even a superfreak. While it's all very flattering, let me tell you all that the original "Superfreak" was Rick James. He was in turn sampled by MC Hammer for his hit single "U Can't Touch This."

The first question I will answer is, "Can anyone explain to me what the heck that stuff is that collects in the corner of your eyelids?" Well 'beth,' that stuff is most commonly called "sleep" or "sleepers." In other more creative moments, I have heard it referred to as "eye boogers," "crusties," and even "eyeball jizz."

Now, I feel that I have to set the record straight about a comment that was made by Mr. Rection on the 3rd of March. He stated, "Fruity Frenchy Guys shouldn't have web pages." I must divulge that although I am partially French (my great X 10 uncle was Ponce De Leon), and quite Fruity, I would definitley not consider myself a Fruity Frenchy Guy. Perhaps he saw me in my beret. Either way, I feel that everyone is entitled to a web page.

In one of the most disturbing entries out of the 11, a person simply known as 'alissa' stated, "what was this i heard of naked guys on this site??????????????????????" The extra question marks lead me to believe that she wanted to place emphasis on this statement, but I'm not sure why. Seeing a picture of me in the buff would probably be nearly as tramautizing as a razor blade running across your eyeball ala Un Chien Andalou. Maybe it would be more like a 7-inch hypedermic needle in your eye. That would hurt too.

Another point that I feel needs more clarification is also brought up by the person known as 'beth.' She states, "Oh, yea, by the way, what was that that you wrote in your home page about offering your body and services!!??" For the record, if you wish to offer money for my goods and services, please e-mail me directly and specify your exact needs. I will in turn provide you with a mailing address to send the non-consecutive monetary units.

One comment that I feel that I need to address is the one made by a 'jason' on the 12th of December. In his comments, he states, "for a good time, call 1.800.GOAARON." I called this number myself and it turned out to be a voice-mail box for a very overworked cutlery salesperson. If you really wish to have a good time, e-mail me and I'll hook you up with my real digits. Yeah, baby, yeah!

The final question I will answer is the one of utmost importance brought up by a person called, 'mr. dinklepuss.' In their comments, they enquire the age-old question of, "is the pot roast fresh today cap'n?" While I am not an expert on pot roast (and do not profess to even know how to cook it properly), I can honestly state that I think it probably is fresh. Like meatloaf, pot roast has a half-life of over 2.5 million years. Therefore "fresh" would be a relative term, spanning tens of thousands of years. Praise be to the pot roast!

And finally, I have to thank everyone who made these loving comments about 'almost cool.'
"You're my peachy-tree!"
"I love you more than I love my toothbrush from the cheese shop."
"its "cul" and leaves a nice aftertaste"
"these, my dear, are anal beads."
"I like it"

Like I said back at the beginning of this whole thing, nothing I said can be taken too seriously, as I am a very big dork. I do want to thank everyone who has responded to me thusfar, either by dropping me a mail or signing the old guestbook. I get stoked every time I recieve a mail (good or bad) about my site or find a new name in the register. Whether anyone likes it or not, though, I'm going to try and keep it coming.