Fun With Fake Blood (Part 1) - 01.19.98

One night during my freshman year of college (during which many, many strange things happened), I was hanging out with a bunch of friends. It wasn't really a normal group of us hanging out, as it was the week before Halloween and we were all preparing the hall of my friends dorm room for a haunted house that would be staged there. The object of the contest was for each floor to decorate, then the most scary (or original) floor would win a pizza dinner. I was lucky to have some of the most inventive friends around, and one of them had turned the contest into a huge undertaking.

Instead of covering up the lights and jumping out of doorways quickly like most of the other hallways, my friend had staged a walkthrough of the hallway in which many things would take place. During the course of about thirty feet, there was a nun being exorcised (who would then spit up green jello with marichino cherries in it), a small zombie girl reading The Gashleycrumb Tinies (Edward Gorey), and a vampire who was draining a young woman.

This latter role was the one that I was assigned to. I was dressed in all black and had my hair combed down around my powdered face. After running through my simple part one evening, we all started chatting and came to the conclusion that some food would be a good idea. Everyone was still busy putting up decorations, so I volunteered to go out and get some fries from the nearby fast food joint for all of us. I threw on a black hat and headed out the door with a dab of fake blood still running out of my mouth.

Upon arriving at the fast-food place, I saw that I was the only customer there at the current time. Given my appearence, I decided that I would have a little fun. I walked up to the counter and somberly gave my order of three large fries. The person working the register didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary at first, but looked startled once they saw the (fake) blood on my face.

I kept my gaze straight ahead, but I could see the person who took my order talking to several other people as they prepared my bags of fries. It was hard to keep a straight face, but I managed to stay rather somber looking throughout the whole deal.

Eventually, they finished getting my fries prepared and what looked like the manager came over to deliver them to me. He looked a bit hesitant at first, but then strode over as if he were nominated by the group. As he handed my bag, he meekly said, "Sir, you have blood on your face." With a surprised look, I slowly raised my hand to my face and touched where the fake blood had coagulated. As I pulled my hand away and saw the blood, I quickly said, "Thanks" and bolted out the door.

As I was running across the parking lot, I looked back to see every employee of the establishment jammed into the drive-through window trying to get a glimpse of where I was going. After they were out of sight, I slowed down and had quite a chuckle.

After arriving back at my friends room, they had another addition to the saga. Just before I had gotten back to the room, my friend had apparently called the place. Below is the conversation that took place between them.

My friend (in a wavering, scared voice): "Was there just a man in there who was dressed in all black?"
Employee: "Yes! And he had blood on his face!"
My Friend: "How long ago was he there?"
Employee: "Only a few minutes ago. AND HE HAD BLOOD ON HIS FACE!"

Upon hearing this, my friend could hardly contain her laughter and quickly said "Thank You" and hung up. We all had a good laugh about it as we finished our fries and went back to work. I guess it was kind of a mean thing to do, but damn it if it wasn't funny. Besides, I got really strange looks every time I went there for the next couple of years before I graduated.